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Thou shalt not swear

Honestly, mention you’re a Mom on a blog and suddenly you’re supposed to conform to a whole new set of standards. We mothers are role models, we raise children for the love of all that is holy, we are responsible for setting the manner standard and aren’t supposed to be swearing in the middle of our blog posts. Or on the street. Or in front of the kids. Or anywhere within a 50 mile radius of our other half’s colleagues. (unless your single, in which case not within a 50 mile radius of any member of your family in case they start to think you aren’t coping.)

Like Hell.

I have no idea how other people view the whole Mom’s shouldn’t be swearing thing, I’m sure the opinions are wide and varied on the subject. I’m sure too that the entire thing pretty much depends on which words, how you choose to use them and how often you use them. Although I think most of us can take a Mother making the occasional blunder out loud after having a couple glasses of wine after dinner, is the view somehow skewed when a Mom types it out in a blog post? I’m not fishing for approval, my readers know that every so often I slip a word in here and there when the post tone needs it. I mean, shit happens, I’m not going to lie and sugar coat shit if that’s what it is. Equally, I feel I’ve always used such words in good taste, and certainly am not going to start constantly swearing to get attention. If that’s how you roll it really doesn’t make a difference to me either way, I’m personally not offended by swearing and can handle anything rated R. Then again, I’m pretty open like that and I have a pretty high threshold when it comes to being offended.

So when does it cross the line? When does a Mom blogger suddenly start appearing to you behind a crappy PC screen with a bottle of vodka, half drunk sitting in her bathrobe at 10am watching the kids play with matches? At what moment is her other half called TimBob who sports a dirty white T-shirt with half his beer belly sticking out underneath revealing more hair around his navel than Tom Selleck’s entire chest? I know there is no one answer here, but I am very curious to know how each of you perceives this issue and where your limit is for such things. Not for my own future reference, but for things I’ve seen in my travels around the net, responses from people and generally how quickly offended readers can be if suddenly they see a word they weren’t expecting. Especially those who feel that being on the blog of a Mother is somehow a safety net against profanity.

At the end of the day, in my humble opinion, we were women and human beings before we took on this Mother role in life. I know there is the argument here that stepping into that role means we should leave behind some of the less favorable traits. I’m all in for that, I totally get the need to lay down a good foundation for being a solid role model to our children, but I’m not about to get all Mother Teresa on it. For me blogging is something that is out of my kids’ sight, a place to be me, Mom or not. I am sure they hear worse stepping outside or getting the bus to school, they know themselves what is right and wrong to say. I can’t say that I am a Mom that constantly swears in front of my kids, although I’m not exactly known for my tact every now and then. Sometimes I say all the wrong things at the right time and well, once in a while the kids aren’t out of earshot (aka. I’m louder than I realise). We’re not talking on a daily basis here people, I do my part in setting an example to the kids as best I can, but I am a mere mortal. Being perfect doesn’t register in my vocabulary and goes against my morals anyway.

Share your thoughts, I want to hear them. Do you swear on your blog or do you tend to steer clear of the swear police? Enquiring minds want to know…well mostly me. Me and say….five other blogger’s. Which FYI is just an estimate.

**A fellow blogger read my article and gave her opinion on this topic too! Stop by and see what she had to say….you know, just in case my opinion wasn’t enough…pfft.

To swear or not to swear? That is the question

15 Responses to “Thou shalt not swear”

  1. Eva Gallant says:

    I’ve been known to use a word or two, but not that often. I don’t take offense if someone else does. And I certainly don’t judge people! If you’ve read my blog, you’ll know I try somewhat to keep it PG, but only because I don’t want it to come back and bite me in the ass sometime when I don’t expect it! lol
    .-= Eva Gallant´s last blog ..I Coulda’ Used Some Lessons! =-.

    • mesina says:

      Eva, I think that’s a fair compromise! I don’t think everyone should have to take their blog beyond PG, on the other hand it’s great when people stay open and don’t judge.

  2. Cristina says:

    I think if you’re a step mom like me, you have that stigma of the vodka drinking let your kids play with matches kinda mom. I’m both mom and step mom. I say $%(*^ *, ()_*&^ and %&(^(*_^&%$$ when I need to and that won’t change. EVER. I use profanity for emphasis only. I think as with everything it’s moderation and having a firm foundation of values or principals that you draw from when parenting your children and how you project yourself to world.

    We aren’t all perfect and just because we have the title of mother doesn’t mean we aren’t still human.

    Shit happens,

    Cristina
    .-= Cristina´s last blog ..A framework of goals and a new blog. =-.

  3. mepsipax says:

    Obviously, you haven’t been to my blog. Ha. I swear so much the FCC tried to censor me. The bastards. I think each person should speak however they want. Obviously, showing a little respect to people is appropriate and cursing in front of kids is rude. However, this is the fucking internet… so, anything is game. You aren’t marketing this as a kid friendly site so I say.. be free to say fuck.
    .-= mepsipax´s last blog ..Weak ass Wednesday =-.

    • mesina says:

      mepsipax, ha! Well I will make my way over to your blog today and see for myself! Respect, totally, I agree there. I think there is a time to say what you mean, without having to be down on others. I always feel free to say what I wish, regardless of who I will or will not offend. I’m not going to apologise or be worried about the swear police pulling me up on it. Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Brent Allard says:

    Hi Mesina,

    It’s a tricky issue, so bear with me if this gets a little long. First of all I haven’t heard the word that will offend me. I get more offended by people that sneak around and won’t tell you what they mean. I swear myself, largely depending on who I’m with. With my old friends I think nothing of saying filthy, filthy things, but always in jest.
    However on the internet it’s tough. There are a lot of easily offended (looking to be offended) people out there. If you swear there’s a good chance you’ll lose some. And that could be OK. It could actually help you avoid dealing with these people. Some internet sources know that the easily offended are not a good market for them anyway, and they have plenty of readers (the Onion for example)
    On a personal based blog I wouldn’t think twice about it. If you’re presenting “you” and you, as a person, swear, then have at it. Some people like you, some don’t I’m cool with that.
    I usually try for a more general audience so try not to swear as I want people to get the ideas I’m presenting without giving them an excuse to disregard them. (Same holds true with religion)
    Kurt Vonnegut had a character in a book who was an officer in the military. His men called him “Preacher” because he wouldn’t swear. He explained that his orders were life or death, so he didn’t want to give anyone a reason not listen. It had nothing to do with him being offended.
    .-= Brent Allard´s last blog ..Fight Club =-.

    • mesina says:

      Brent, you’ve made some valid points here. I can see why you would avoid it on a site like yours, where the target is much more generalised. Here I never worry either way, I say what I feel and don’t worry about how I say it. I know of other very successful sites that do the same, so it’s not all about approval. I also know of a site that, does very well and recently offended someone because she used ”fuck” on her blog. It was honestly not used in an offensive way (really) but there holds your point that some are just easily offended. I think you’re right, some are just looking to be too, but then again those aren’t the people that would come to read And then there was me…. 🙂
      My posts here are wide and varied and some would give the impression that it was a ”safe” place to be. I thought this was an interesting topic that might bring out some very different opinions. Thanks for taking the time to give me yours. x

  5. Brent Allard says:

    Absolutely. That’s a reasonable way to look at it. There are people who will be offended even if you take every precaution. Those people are fortunately the exception, not the rule.

    As far as my reading preferences, I’m typically more bothered when someone says “frickin” or some other substitute, because it doesn’t seem authentic. Sometimes there’s only one word that works!
    .-= Brent Allard´s last blog ..Fight Club =-.

  6. Dawna says:

    Well, for me it depends on tons of things. From my perception, though, swear words are just words; strong words. Do I swear? Yes. In the presence of my children? Sometimes. But if I’m swearing, rest assured I’ve had ENOUGH!
    I, too, am one that doesn’t get offended easily and as such it takes a lot to bother me. Colorful metaphors used for emphasis? No biggie, however, every other word is a bit excessive, IMO.
    To each his/her own. 🙂

  7. buzzed this post
    .-= Melissa Mashburn´s last blog ..My Lack of Self Esteem =-.

  8. Shelli says:

    I buzzed this post, too.
    .-= Shelli´s last blog ..Curses! =-.

  9. Paula says:

    Hi-

    I’m a multi mom with a blog, and in it, yes, I swear a lot sometimes. Others, not at all. My target audience is far from children, so I figure words are words, because ultimately, being a mother is only one facet of the whole package that makes up me. However, while a childless me would likely think nothing of the language, I did put a disclaimer page on the blog proclaiming it to have “adult content,” just in case someone stumbled upon it unawares. Of course, this probably makes the whole thing seem more scintillating than it actually is…

  10. Jenny says:

    I cuss like a sailor offline so you bet I’m gonna do it on my blog. But only when the need to show my real feeling on something arises. I try not to do it much because I know how anal some of these mom bloggers are. And how if they see more then one F bomb they’ll never return to your site again. It’s gay, dumb, retarded, what have you, but hey. It’s their loss. Hehe.
    .-= Jenny´s last blog ..Wreck this… journal? =-.

  11. Alena says:

    Hi 🙂 I found you via seededbuzz, and you’re on my list to buzz (after my readers get through the pile I’ve already done, lol – first day and I’m hooked!). I’ll let you know once I’ve done it!

    I struggle with this issue, and haven’t resolved it for myself yet. I am a Christian, and there’s the whole “let nothing unwholesome proceed from your mouth” (need to look that up in something other than the KJV, lol) issue. Most of my family (mine and hubby’s) are very conservative, and are 100% against the use of any kind of profanity; I used “wtf” (not spelled out, just as it appears here) on a post several months ago, and got a flood of comments, all of which were about my ungodly use of that abbreviation, and none of which were about the content of the post! It was disheartening, to say that least. I don’t use profanity unless no other word will do, either in writing or in real life. But it bothers me that if I need to use a curse word in context, I can’t without absolutely offending at least one of my readers – because they are family, and family don’t just disappear in the blogosphere when they’re pissy! One of your commenters said it irritates her when someone uses words like “frickin” because it lacks authenticity; I totally agree! It’s like an aunt of mine – instead of saying shit, she will yell out “rat patooti-head” which is code for “rat shit-head”. Classy, yes? If she was concerned about not swearing, wouldn’t “rat stool” be better?? (Tongue in cheek, of course!) My biggest pet peeve (and that’s putting it mildly) is the lack of authenticity in a person. If a person believes it is morally wrong to swear, shouldn’t they avoid any form of profanity, including silly knock-offs of mainstream words? Just sayin’.
    Alena´s last blog post ..Opportunity Knocks Business2Blogger

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