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The Soulmate Phenomenon

Soulmates. We’ve heard it a thousand times from the mouths of people, be they delving deeply into the spiritual realms of love or simply speaking of love in general. In fact, I don’t know when people speak of finding their soulmate that they are always talking terms of spirituality to be honest. I think most people are just hoping to feel that ever connected feeling within a relationship in their life. Our ideals of what constitutes a ”Soulmate” are, quite rightly, different and unique from person to person. Some seem to find their soulmate within every love that enters their life, while others struggle to feel that deep of a connection to even what is seemingly the perfect relationship. It’s strange how we all feel differently even in the same circumstances, I guess that’s what being individual is all about. So why would I choose to share my ideas on this whole Soulmate Phenomenon? Because for me, January always brings a ton of people to me through my job who are thinking about just that.

To know anything about me, is to know that I am indeed a deeply spiritual person. Perhaps not in the way you might think, maybe not even in the traditional way, and I wouldn’t go as far to say in a strange non real way. I’d like to believe that I exist somewhere between the depths of a truely connected spiritual world and a modern everyday society. Living between the two means I get to talk to people about a whole range of things, being open with people brings that to me anyway, and my job allows me to sit, talk and listen to people all the time. So often I find people with a deep desire to just, find their soulmate, talk about how they found their soulmate or speak of the pain that is to lose what they saw as their soulmate. It’s inspiring, amazing and sometimes downright heart wrenching to hear people when they really believe they’ll never find another love as deep as what they lost. When someone reaches out to you like that and asks with a gaping hole in their heart, is it possible that there is more than one soulmate for everyone, how on earth do you answer? Even still, how do you respond when someone speaks so highly of a partner, believing they are the one and only soul for them, clearly seeing that person does not feel the same way? What of the thousands of people each day out there chasing rainbows searching for that perfect soulmate? It’s hardly comforting to them simply saying don’t worry, you’re soulmate is out there, it will come. Some of them have been waiting for it will come for many years.

Of all the spiritual beliefs I hold, believing that there is only one soulmate for everyone isn’t one of them. In fact my whole take on the subject can surprise and challenge people to look at it from a very different angle. Somehow people expect me to believe in the entire yep this is your soulmate so, like it or not this is your one shot at a perfect love scenario. The deepest parts of me have a hard time getting to grips with our souls being paired up in some strange universal cosmo and that for everyone there is only one match. No, the things that I have learned, seen and gathered are that we can find a soul connection with many others throughout our lifetime. If you truely want to learn you need to understand that not all will come in a romantic form and even when they do, it doesn’t mean that ”destiny” will see the two of you together and happily ever after into the sunset. Do I believe that it could be that way? Of course I do, I’ve seen people come together so deeply and spend the rest of their lives in blissful happiness, but simply finding someone you connect with does not make that instantly happen. Even soulmates have their work in the relationship, because souls have to exist in this real world too and the real world can be a wonderous place, but it can also be a cruel, harsh mother.

If souls can recognise each other, make connections, even those we do not logically understand, then surely we can make those connections and recognitions regardless of sex or race for example. Can you give birth to your soulmate? I believe it is possible, the same way that I believe it is possible to find your soulmate and eventually have to walk away when the relationship simply holds no more meaning in this real world. Just because you love that deeply, doesn’t mean it is right to hang onto a destructive relationship. Most importantly, you must stay open to those connections, and realise that just finding one doesn’t mean that’s it. It doesn’t exclude everyone else for the rest of your life from being titled your soulmate. Haven’t you ever loved someone you believed was your soulmate, only to find that feeling changed later? True soulmates aren’t supposed to lose their luster are they? Why then are we living in a society of divorces and marriages, constantly searching for a perfect love? There is still a real world to exist in, even if our souls know they are right for one another, the real world doesn’t always agree. To me that is a part of life’s lessons, learning to live between the realms, being spiritual beings in real bodies.

Then I suppose the next question to all this is, what’s the point? Why have a soulmate at all if it’s not going to hold some special meaning or value to this life? Why can’t it be like hitting the jackpot and living happily ever after with someone who completes the other half of you? Those connections, however deep, however happy, sad, painful or otherwise, each one brings something deeper into your life. Each one brings a better understanding of life, love, relationships, of what you want, desire, need, the list can go on and on. Taking away the value of a soul in your life is like devaluing the meaning of life itself. We learn something from everyone that enters our lives, it’s just that some of those people bring something that little bit more rich to us, something unexplainable.  There’s always a point, always a special meaning, I think people just need to get around the fact that it doesn’t equal perfection. No soul is perfect, no being, no human at least, it’s what makes living this life so damn interesting.

I would never ask anyone to let go of the ideals of love, the concept of having a soulmate as it were. It’s the very thing I would advise people to hold in their beliefs. If we haven’t got an ideal about what this whole love game is all about, then we’d never know what it was we were aiming for in life. We’d never allow ourselves to feel something extrodinary, something amazing and love is simply amazing. When you let go of the belief of the ideal love, you give up on love itself. Finding a soulmate isn’t about finding the perfect person just for you, it’s about celebrating the perfect love you hold for an imperfect person. About holding onto someone that brings a deeper meaning to your life. Just do love a favor and remember that it’s not up to one person to complete you, one person cannot fill a void within you that suddenly gives your life purpose, that is up to you. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your soulmate. If you strive to bring happiness to yourself, then you strive to invite it into the life of the people you share it with.

If you’re still out there chasing the dream of that ideal romance, looking for that one soul that brings a little something special into your life, it is out there. I know it’s not a total comfort, not with the in’s and out’s that dating bring, the problems that people carry over from their previous loves before you, but it does exist. Just don’t let yourself get so cynical that you miss it, or not so caught up in the ideals that you push every imperfect being away from you. Sometimes your soulmate comes in a way that is unexpected, but you must have a heart open enough to embrace it at the time. Take care of you in the meantime, learn something from friendships, other connections that you already have in your life. Be sure you feel balanced on your own, not having a lover does not make life less enriching, only if you choose to see it that way. You wouldn’t be doing your future love any justice if you expected them to restore balance into your life, you can only expect that they add something special to it.

When you find someone that makes your soul sing, work at it. Those new feelings won’t last, but they can go so much deeper. Someone that evokes such a song in your heart doesn’t come along everyday and that is how we recognise a soulmate, if you will. They bring something extraordinary to your ordinary life. Even if I hold the belief that we can connect with many souls throughout our life, I’m not suggesting for one second that we will meet 1,000 people who we connect with in that way. I’m saying that, though possible, you are not likely to, at least not in the way that they would be your lover. But you can find more than one in your lifetime and certainly find it in some of the most unexpected places. So finding it, is special and amazing, I would never suggest otherwise.

I once sat with a woman who was close to 85 years old planning her wedding day. She had never given up on finding another soulmate after her first husband passed away some 20 years before. She was an amazing woman and someone we could all learn a little something from.

11 Responses to “The Soulmate Phenomenon”

  1. ? Katinka says:

    Wonderful post 🙂

    Stopping by from SITS and wishing you a HAPPY MONDAY!

  2. ? Katinka says:

    Wonderful post 🙂

    Stopping by from SITS and wishing you a HAPPY MONDAY!

  3. T says:

    What a beautiful post! I'd like to think that there is more than "that one", otherwise to many will be lonely!

    Stopping by from SITS!

  4. Vesper says:

    I definitely agree with you.

  5. Eva Gallant says:

    There is so much truth in this post. A great piece of writing.

  6. Just this one says:

    Thank you.

  7. Melissa B. says:

    I've been married to my soulmate for 30 years. I concur with you wholeheartedly! SITS sent me by, and I'm glad they did…

    Woody Woodpecker…Knot a Problem!

  8. Mesina says:

    Rick, oh! I just published your comment and yet it doesn't show here or in my post edits!! I know for sure I hit publish and yet it's gone into the void somewhere. To attempt to re-create the post here I will say that Rick put as follows

    ''I love it in Napoleon Dynamite when the brother finds his ''soulmate''. It turns out his soulmate is someone he has nothing in common with. I believe that you find your soulmate after 25 plus years, my wife and I are going on 30. She is my soulmate''

    It's the closest I can recall to the actual post. Rick do leave me another comment, if only so I can find your blog and come visit you sometime! Thanks for stopping in. I have no idea what happened to your comment when posting….I think the internet gremlins ate it! x

  9. Sharnanigans says:

    Hi there, just found your blog through SITS – I have just read a GREAT book about all this kind've stuff, so your post here appealed to me. I agree with your views on soulmates… and I think that we have soul groups even… that there are people that we just click with that are not necessarily lovers but that we have known in another sphere…. great blog. I look forward to reading more

  10. Cafe Pasadena says:

    I agree with your belief that there are more than one soulmates for each of us. Personally, I've met my foodie soulmate.

  11. Velvet Over Steel says:

    What an awesome post! You described exactly what I've been looking and how I feel about soulmates and realations. Perfect!!
    My quest is one of the things I write about. 🙂 So glad I came across your blog, following and will be back very soon! Love it! ~ Coreen

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