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Ninja Mouse

Some body’s been screwing with my cosmic alignment.

I mean, there is no way this shit happens to other people.

It started with the freaking garbage men and ended with me hyperventilating. So when I say started with the garbage men, you know this is gonna end bad don’t you?

Some environmentalist freaks decided that in our neighborhood, we should have two garbage bins – recycling and non recycling. Which is pretty cool in theory, except that what bin gets collected alternates each week. That totally works when the garbage men actually empty out the bins. Yeah. They sorta of ”forgot” our bin one week. (I smell a conspiracy) So for two weeks I had to put up with excess garbage at my house – so I had like four extra bags outside when the idiots showed up to finally empty it out again. Until I remembered that actually, there was one last bag in the garage that needed to be taken and since it’s all their fault they are so gonna take it.

That’s when all this went really bad.

The next thing I know, a teenage girl is screaming her head off and I’m shouting that it’s not me that stinks it’s just a stupid garbage bag and could she please chill the hell out so I can focus on taking out all my emotional problems on the garbage men.

It’s not the smell, it’s a mouse! Great. He had jumped off the rubbish bag I had in my hands, having been all stealthed on it.

So after assaulting the garbage men with my last bag of rubbish and it’s actually your fault I have all this crap and uh no we are not freaking hillbilly’s whatever…I walk back in praying that the mouse has run out the front door. Apparently, he’s just run behind the curtain by the front door. Shit. So now, I have to look all big and brave in front of my kids, cos I’m the adult here (seriously who the hell gave me that job?). I pull the curtain back and see…. nothing. See? He’s gone. Let’s all move on now. I give the curtain a little shake to prove it and

that little ninja bastard jumped straight on top of my head! MY HEAD!

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Can you fucking believe this?! That twat, climbed up the curtain, ambushed me and launched himself onto the floor laughing, only to run back behind the freaking curtain again!

So of course I screamed like a total wussy and ran so fast into my living room that I bashed my arm on the door running in. So now my fuckin’ arm hurts thanks a lot you little ninja twit as well as now being scarred for L-I-F-E. After like 15 minutes of me hyperventilating, I came up with a plan to get that karate chopping fur ball out of the house, which involved a mop and an ironing board – hey don’t judge me, you try thinking straight during the aftershock of a ninja ambush and it was all the shit I had handy… anyways….I decided to set up a road block to force him out the front door (Que ironing board) and use the mop to pull back the curtain with since there was no freaking way I was going too close to that again.

While setting this all up my daughter says Mom that is totally not gonna work, I mean there’s a massive gap on the end of that ironing board where he can just run out, omg. And I was like shut-up, who the hell is the adult here huh?  And that was when she said you know what, I don’t even know anymore. So I was all set to prove her wrong and show her who had the awesome planning skills here. After pulling back the curtain you know what?

That little jerk ran straight through that goddamn gap and into my living room and then I don’t even know where.

I am never going to live this down. Since my cosmic alignment is already  screwed beyond hope, I put Maurice in charge of catching the ninja mouse cos I obviously don’t need anymore bad Karma. I must have been a cat in my previous life.

I bet that little bastard is stealthed somewhere in the house. Breathe Mesina…just breathe.

15 Responses to “Ninja Mouse”

  1. Eva Gallant says:

    that is too funny! Hope Maurice is hungry!
    .-= Eva Gallant´s last blog ..Thrown for a Loop Thursday! =-.

  2. Angelia says:

    ROFL! HAHAHA! I realize that this isn’t so funny to you–but good lord that is hysterical to us! You are hilarious!

    I am alergic to cats and dogs. Soo..I’ve always been a rodent lover. I have a hamster and two degu. I would probably have trapped it in an aquarium and kept it.

    I did that once. Hubs was NOT happy.
    .-= Angelia´s last blog ..99 Things =-.

  3. Dawna says:

    OMGosh! What a crack up!! I hope Maurice catches him soon and evicts his furry butt!

  4. Kristy says:

    OMG! Yikes! I would freak too. But, thank god it happened because then you could blog about it!
    http://www.pampersandpinot.com

  5. Embejo says:

    Oh man, that’s hilarious. But mice freak me out. If one landed on my head I would scream. Ew.
    .-= Embejo´s last blog ..Favourite Book Blogs =-.

  6. Wow, I’d be freaking out too! That’s awful it jumped on top of your head! You should definitely get a cat to catch that mouse! EWW.
    .-= Karen & Gerard´s last blog ..For A Work Day- It Was A Good Day =-.

  7. amber says:

    you and a mouse, I thought it was bad when you had to face a spider. But I fill for you I had mouse 2 weeks ago, I had him locked in the living room with the kid gate but got him in the kitchin damn them holes

  8. Maurice says:

    It’s ok! I handled it! We can sleep soundly again! What was funny as well was the second time we saw the mouse 🙂 Was in the kitchen and Mesina behind me because she thought she saw a mouse. When I spotted it, I said yes, it’s a mouse. Get out. So the Adult, teenager and young dog (wth?!) all stumbled and fell over each other trying to get out as fast as possible! Cracked me up… Really, it did. Love you honey! xxx

    • mesina says:

      Maurice you are MY HERO BABE!!! HAHA, yes it was super funny…for you…Ah hem. But you are the bestest ever getting that little ninja twit out. I LOVE YOU!!!!! xx

  9. franticmommy says:

    Throw some cheese out. Make him and cheap housepet……and sleep with a helmet on and a pick ax from now on. I had a Blue Jay (a big ass angry bird with a pissy attitude. A more PMS version of a blue blue) jump on my head once. I didn’t know where to pluck him bald or soil myself with fear. I will not share what my end result was…ewww.
    franticmommy´s last blog post ..My Week of Freakin Brilliant Comments

  10. Charlotte says:

    I don’t mean to laugh because this is terrifying but I couldn’t help myself. Your description of the little ninja mouse had me in stitches! I can’t believe he landed on your head! Maybe he was training for the circus before he found a gig terrorizing your life and home.
    Charlotte´s last blog post ..hit me with music

  11. Too funny. I would be freaking out too!
    Michelle Saunderson´s last blog post ..Soccer Weekend

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