Alright, here it is, the fourth and final installment of my Valentine’s posts. I’ve armed you ladies with the 10 things to NOT buy him for Valentine’s since really our men can sometimes get a rather bum deal! Allow me to let you in on a little secret as to why so many men are anti-Valentine’s Day: It’s a chick’s holiday. They get, a few sweet and cute presents they absolutely have no idea what to do with, pressure to perform and make your day amazing and if they somehow get something wrong – they could wind up spending the evening with a tear sodden woman or a silent and sulky girl they were totally trying to woo. It might be a lot of bad memories and a complete confidence killer when they honestly don’t get things right. A lot of guys go for the safe presents year after year in the hopes that it’s appreciated and keeps them out of trouble and between the sheets. I mean how would we feel if we had a day where we just got a load of man stuff and had to get all geared up for that every year? Um, probably not right? If you want your man to make the effort to do something completely amazing for you, then its time to recreate the holiday and do something absolutely awesome for them. Give him a reason to get all excited about it every year, when he knows you’ve been thoughtful of him, he just might start to get thoughtful of you.
So now that you’ve put away those elephant undies and stopped trying to justify to yourself why a Teddy bear isn’t such a bad gift – to stop you from head scratching, here’s a few suggestions to do Valentine’s Man style. After all, this isn’t about just waiting to see what he’s doing for you, but showing him we know how to rock a mushy day with things he’ll love.
Think manly thoughts… alright don’t get too wrapped up in them and start scratching in places no one wants to see! When it comes to thinking of ways to make your man happy, you really need to pay attention to those things he really loves. Sometimes those activities or things he indulges in might not seem like much fun to you, but they are honestly the things he finds fulfilling. I mean, you might think shopping is fun but he might loathe it. Same difference. Having different tastes is what makes the whole Man/Woman thing so interesting.
Ideas: So he loves classic rock eh? What about some great memorabilia from some of his favorite rock bands. Loves cars? Tickets to a car show might be just the thing to get his engine revving. Film lover? Going out to the movies is great fun for you both, but what about also sourcing out some long lost classics on DVD (or better yet Blu-Ray if he’s got it!) he’s wanted for some time. Music lover? What about a really nice set of headphones to go with his iPod? (something that would qualify as an upgrade to what he’s got *wink*) or hell if he hasn’t got an iPod and you’re up for spending, get him one!
For a swinging night in…. they say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Cooking a special meal for him is great, even if yes you cook all the time. Making a dish he would die for, his favorite, or something he really doesn’t get often, will not go unnoticed or unappreciated. Just be sure it really is something he doesn’t get often, so it feels like you’ve made a real effort for him. (No last night’s leftovers ladies!) Setting the mood at home and creating a different space is something he’d love just as much as you do. Plus, you can always slip him a sexy little note after dinner telling him to get his backside upstairs pronto…..
Turn the tables for a day. Be the man, take the initiative! There is nothing wrong with breaking tradition every now and then, especially when you are in a really comfortable relationship. If you don’t want to stay in, try treating him to dinner instead somewhere where he’ll love the menu. If you really want somewhere with atmosphere and romance, try sourcing a restaurant with both a great menu for him and an atmosphere for you. Compromise is the key here! But reversing the roles might make him feel a little funny if he really prefers paying all the time. Make sure you prepare him that this is your treat to him before you head out to dinner, that way you can avoid him feeling funny if you think he might. On the other hand, some men don’t have any hang ups on the issue, it’s really all down to the individual.
Something a little saucy. No girls, I’m not talking about pasta here. If doing something a little racy is on the cards, then why not have a few suggestive photos of yourself done just for him? Most men are very visual, so these will really raise his heart rate. You don’t have to bear it all in the pictures, but something that almost reveals it if you’re happier that way are just fine. He really loves seeing you, even if you don’t love seeing yourself. You can either have these done professionally, or just take them yourself. You’d be surprised what you can accomplish extending your arm out and snapping shots! If you want to bear a little more than just suggesting it, just be sure you feel comfortable within your relationship. It takes a lot of trust to hand photos like that over of yourself. That said, saucy photos will drive him wild!
Or how bout a little role play? If photos are simply not your style, then what about playing a little dress up? Getting yourself all dolled up in new lingerie or a playful outfit will be something he would totally appreciate. It shows a lot of confidence on your part and let’s face it, confidence is very sexy. You can even go one step further and indulge in a little role play, nothing too heavy if it’s not your thing, but a few hot lines in a sexy outfit can make everything nicely playful. After all, you are his fantasy girl right?
Anticipation is half the fun. When it comes to making a fun and saucy night for him, remember that the anticipation is half the key to driving him nuts. You could start the day by sending a suggestive text to him and keeping that build up all day here and there. Just don’t overdo it, timing your suggestions carefully is the key to just reminding him you’ve got things in mind for later. Just make sure he plays by the rules and keeps it for later. But just as much as getting him excited for the evening ahead is important, remember that putting in those little details later will make it worth his wait. Tending to the shaving, putting on baby oil after your shower (and toweling it off!) and making sure you’re smelling lovely will add to the stimulation for him when it gets down and dirty. I know I don’t have to tell you all that, but really make sure he knows you put in the effort. Then simply set the mood with candles, oils, and little details to make the atmosphere fun, exciting and sensual.
He loves massages too! Yes of course he does, don’t you? Whether it’s an erotic massage with oils, or simply a heavenly back rub, your guy is likely to love it all. Making some pamper him time works just as well as it does for you. Massages are very intimate and personal, even those that aren’t meant to be sensual. Sometimes men just love to sit with you without having to say a million things, it allows just the experience and bond between you to come out naturally. With that in mind, don’t make the massage a time for chatting about do you know what Carrie said to me the other day? or even think about mentioning work to him. Just be in the still together and enjoy a moment without words and feel that love between you. You’re likely to feel and see it from him in it’s most raw and natural form. Besides, guys don’t always need to chat – how many long phone conversations do you see them having?! Probably not that many after your dating phase…..just sayin’.
Expressing your love for him. Women tend to be far more free with saying I love you, usually. (There’s always exceptions to every rule!) But being the emotional creatures that we can be, simply saying something we say all the time might not mean quite as much. Of course I’m not saying to not pour your heart out about how you feel for him, but remember that Valentine’s is all about doing it in a way you don’t usually. Not only should you be saying I love you, but making sure he knows those little things that you love and adore about him. Maybe he makes you laugh, perhaps you appreciate all those little household things he’s so handy with, or maybe you just want to remind him you never forgot about something amazing he did back when you were dating. You know how we women love to know they are taking notice? So do men. Just perhaps not about the same sort of things. One of the reasons men stop being romantic isn’t always because they got the girl….sometimes it’s because we start taking for granted what they do for us. Reminding him how much you appreciate what he does do, means you noticed. Because sometimes his way of saying I love you is by looking after your needs or fixing the shower or painting the bedroom again because you got bored with the colour scheme after 6 months. I mean let’s face it, they actually do a lot of really cool stuff just to keep us from having a psychotic fit.
So what about those gifts?! Yeah, the gift giving. What do men really want when you present a gift?
Practical presents can be more appreciated by men, so long as they are a little above the average. That means, if you are giving him cologne (because he’s that sort of guy and loves to wear it everyday) then make it a special bottle of his favorite. Shaving kit? Make sure it’s a really nice one, not one he could pick up down at your local store himself. Man gear? If you are brave enough to buy him a fishing pole, be sure it’s one he’s been lusting over. Just remember, if you are buying supplies with hobbies he loves to do, there will be no complaining when he’s making time to go do them and use that pole….unless he’s totally bending the rules and suddenly going out every day. That’s a bit of overkill.
Humorous gifts are fun and sometimes can break the ice for guys who find the whole mushy mushy thing a bit much. However, the general rule is perhaps ONE funny present and this should be paired with a nice thoughtful gift for him. Humorous gifts should be ice breakers, or something to share a laugh over, not the only thing he ends up with on the day. I mean, he could get his own back and buy you nothing but a stupid pink beer hat next year that says “I’m drunk with love!” – well, you asked for it!
A day dedicated to your one and only. A day out is a great way to get to know your man in a way he can appreciate. Just as much as we’d love a whole day out doing things we love, men too like to spend the day somewhere. Think again about those activities he loves or has always wanted to do and see if you can’t incorporate them into a day out somewhere. Just make sure you aren’t throwing in a thing or two here and there that YOU want. This isn’t about you, it’s a day for him. So no Opera, unless he’s really into that sorta thing. Wouldn’t that be cool?
Ideas: For manly day’s out, push the normal boundaries. It’s simply not a gift to just go out doing what you can do any day of the week. Tickets to an all day show, or maybe a paintball session (yes you could get in on that!), flying lessons, rally car driving days, Indoor skydiving experiences, a music concert to a band he loves, to name a few! Start thinking along these lines and tailor make it to something he’ll fall over for. They don’t have to be done on the big day itself, you can give him the voucher as a gift if you’d prefer not to be out rally car driving on Valentine’s!
Guys love gadgets… but cool ones, not you know, a gadget that is going to sit on the shelf and never get used. The great thing about gadgets it isn’t always about stuff he needs, but fun things to enjoy that he probably wouldn’t buy himself – which really means things you’d likely nag him about purchasing because it was a waste of money. What are you 13?! But once again, you really need to know your man to know what sort of gadget’s he’d go for. If you’re unsure about what might qualify as cool, ask around! A lot of men would be glad to pitch in an idea or two and be heard, especially the guys at the store you’re buying from. Of course, you still need to know your man, but if you’re stuck this could be a great starting point. Yes, some guys still love playing with remote control anything. Don’t judge. No one is judging your need for 50 pairs of shoes alright?
Whatever you decide to do for your man this Valentine’s, think about the things he really loves to do first and go from there. Making the effort to acknowledge his interests will show you not only pay attention, but that you love him just as he is. Plus come on, he gets to actually brag like a chick about how awesome your gift was and come back to report that all his guy friends are completely jealous that you rock. This would be the perfect time to bask in your awesomeness.
If you’re up for making it a sexy night for him, confidence is the key. He really does love seeing you, even when you’re not happy with everything on your body. Confidence can make all the difference and create instant sex appeal. If there’s one total turn off for men, it’s a woman always going on about what she hates about herself. Don’t be afraid to show your saucy side, he will most likely love the effort you’re making just for him. This is bound to be his favorite bit of Valentine’s anyway, everything ladies has built up to this moment. The score.
The one thing you definitely don’t want after the day is over is a teddy bear mating under the bed with the dust bunnies….. which is probably going to reduce you to tears or fueled infested anger, feeling forced to cook crap dinners for the rest of the week and refuse to wash his underwear.
Grab a pint and think manly thoughts!
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