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FYI Saturday, holy crap it’s back

You missed it. Don’t even try to lie. For the past several weeks all your geeky friends are getting the better of you, waging war throwing useless facts info at you and I’ve been no freaking help at all.

I will totally accept full responsibility and I am so sorry.

But today I’m not even going to waste any time, I’m gonna jump on in and slam you all with some crap you never, ever wanted to know. But your geeky friends do and now you just need to shut them up for a while right?! I totally get it.

So FYI….

The Sahara desert is approximately 3.5 million square miles (or 9 million sq km) and makes up about 25% of Africa. Um, I would not want to be running out of gas anywhere near there. But you know, if Sandpeople existed and lived there, they could like start a civilization, build an army and plot to take over the rest of the world without us realising. Like, who the hell would be out there to notice?! Food for thought people…food for thought.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds. Proudest moment in chicken history ever right there. I’m sure if chicken’s could have super heros, it would be of this super chicken who could get his ass up into the air for a t-total of 13 seconds. Chicken super powers for reals. On the other hand, I suspect it flew for 13 seconds because some drunk idiot decided to see how far he could throw one. Either way it’s still awesome for chickens….I guess?

Thomas Edison, the light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark. Well whatta know?! I guess fear is a good thing sometimes, when it drives you invent stuff like this. Apparently he died on October 18th, 1931 with all of the lights on in his New Jersey home. So let’s just think about this, Thomas Edison was afraid of the Boogie Man? Um, ok. I guess those really smart people have their quirks. I mean, take me for example, I have loads. Heh.

Ancient Egyptians shaved off their eyebrows to mourn the deaths of their cats. Yeah because that makes perfect sense. What is the freaking point? Exactly what is the purpose of running around without eyebrows because your cat died? I know cats were sacred and wise and all knowing and worshiped and whatever, but you guys honestly I don’t get it. I don’t see how looking like a twat is going to help at all. Maybe I’m just heartless. I would have much rather painted a nice picture for my cat instead, see that’s nice.

It is illegal to be a prostitute in Siena, Italy, if your name is Mary. Of course it’s perfectly fine if your name is Susan though. Or Druisilla. Or maybe even Martha Stewart. Dude. I kinda think this is sending the wrong message. I’m sorta guessing this has to do with the whole Virgin Mary thing? Do you think parents in Siena name all their girls Mary just to make sure they don’t go there? Good plan up until she just lies about her name. What a weird law and it’s probably doing nothing for the prevention of prostitution.

Well, I hope whatever Saturday brings you it’s something really special. Like beer and chocolate. Or maybe a maid so you don’t have to do any housework this weekend, wouldn’t that be nice? Ah hell, just put your feet up and be lazy anyway.

If you can’t get a maid round, then maybe I’ll send you super chicken.

Duh dun nuuh naaaaah!

I’m not entirely sure if he cleans, but seriously he’s totally buff and can probably scare the crap out of anyone who tries to argue about you’re being lazy today. Or at least peck at their toes which must be freaking annoying as hell. But he’s only scary up until he flies. Really nobody wants to see that.

Uhhh....throw harder next time! Jeezus.

Maybe there is a flaw in this plan.

6 Responses to “FYI Saturday, holy crap it’s back”

  1. Cole says:

    I love FYI Saturday! Did you know ants yawn and stretch when they wake up in the morning?
    Cole´s last blog post ..Fur-baby To Go

  2. Eva Gallant says:

    Mesina, Mesina, Mesina! You crack me up! If I’d only known. My older sisters both had the middle name Mary, but my middle name is Jane! I could totally be a prostitute in Italy if things get a little too tight, budgetwise!
    Eva Gallant´s last blog post ..Saturday Silliness

  3. I love it. Everybody at work think I know enough random stuff. I will have to read your blog to find out more!
    Michelle Saunderson´s last blog post ..Land of The Lost

  4. I was more than happy to discover this website. I wanted to thank you for ones time due to this fantastic read!!
    I definitely savored every little bit of it and i also have you bookmarked to check
    out new stuff in your website.
    thiet ke quan cafe go´s last blog post ..thiet ke quan cafe go

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