Friday the 13th

It’s so Friday the 13th.

When I was a teen, we used to plan get togethers for ultimate horror movie nights. It would usually start off with about 8 movies planned and I’m fairly sure we all started snoring by the second film. Cos we were hardcore like that. In our defence, it was usually because we’d seen them all like a hundred times beforehand.

But today I haven’t a horror movie in sight in honour of the day of doom. Nope, today I figured my efforts were better spent scoping out all the black cats in the neighborhood as a safety measure to prevent any bad luck coming my way. I mean everybody knows that to be crossing a black cat today multiplies the bad luck by like a million. Thankfully, we only have one in our neighbourhood. But unfortunately he is like

a mutha freaking bad ass mo fo.

I’m totally serious. He comes your way and starts out looking like this

I am luring you into a false sense of security with my hypnotic powers of sweetness and light. Purr baby, Purr.

I am luring you into a false sense of security with my hypnotic powers of sweetness and light. Purr baby, Purr.

It’s all a front. He’s a total fraud. Because he strolls up to my front door, looking all sweet and innocent, trying to pretend he just wants me to pet him – and that’s when he spots my dog’s behind me at the door.  No more Mr. Nice Kitty

He scares the holy living crap out of me.

He scares the holy living crap out of me.

He terrifies my dogs you guys, this is serious shit.

So today while I was out walking my dog, I thought he’d have plotted a ninja assassination on our asses while we innocently strolled to collect my daughter from preschool. I figured today was like his day of evil terror and destruction so me and my dog were feeling a bit exposed and edgy on the walk. We were jumping at every little whisper thinking that damn cat was going to leap out with a grenade or whip out some sort of chainsaw and chase us down the road. It should be noted that we were entirely not equipt on our walk today to be dealing with a psychotic chainsaw massacre cat. How the hell do you prep for something like that anyway? I should google that.

We survived the walk there and back and there have been no signs of his unholiness all day. I’m a little relieved and worried all at once. Relieved I am not going to suffer eternal damnation at the hands of an evil black cat crossing my path on Friday the 13th….worried because I am wondering if he’s plotting his evil plans the day after Friday the 13th when we are least expecting it and thus we are not out of the water yet. I dunno. I’d like to think his owners are aware of his demonic powers and figure that Friday the 13th is not the day to be sending him outside to bring bad luck to everyone. So thus he is just indoors ripping their carpet into little tiny pieces and tearing the hell out of their really nice curtains, while they are locked in a cupboard under the stairs like Harry Potter too scared to come out and face him.

Because that is the price you pay for owning an evil cat you guys, let this be a lesson to you all.

But if you guys don’t hear from me tomorrow, I suggest you go find that damn cat.

I will not sleep tonight.

13 Responses to “Friday the 13th”

  1. Lindsay says:

    Visiting from SITS. Funny post. If a black cat crosses the path of my grandfather, he will either turn around and go back, or stand completely still and wait for another life form to go first. I have inherited this superstition!
    Lindsay´s last blog post ..Differences Between Denmark and Canada- Part 6

    • mesina says:

      oooh superstitious! I love it that it was passed down from your Grandfather…..he was a smart man. He must have met this cat that lives in our neighbourhood.

      Thanks for stopping in Lindsay!

      • Christiana says:

        Your post is a timely conbtirution to the debate

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  2. Anastasia says:

    It’s the truly evil ones who wait until you least expect it.

    Visiting from SITs.

    • mesina says:

      They are the masterminds behind all things evil. I need to work on being that…life goal! Nice to see you here, cheers for stopping in 🙂

  3. Grams says:

    You’re absolutely right, you’ve got to be careful about those evil cats.

    Thanks for visiting on my SITS day. Please come back any time. You’re always welcome.
    Grams´s last blog post ..Grams is Part of a SITSahood

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