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And the Oscar goes to….

Here I am once again at the thresh hold of an age I dread. This time of course, I honestly believed that maybe this one would be different, easier…..ahh who the hell am I kidding? She’s a kid, she lives for this torture.

When my eldest daughter started to reach the age of two, everyone around me started making the comments ”ahh the Terrible Two’s are coming!!! ooooh watch out!”I shrugged it off, I can handle this and I did. By the time she was turning three I thought that was it? That was the Terrible Two’s in all it’s glory, what’s everyone talking about?! Then she did it, she took my face of security, my total trust, faith and devotion as her Mother and she used all of it against me. Oooh no that kid didn’t play fair…..at all. Three….the age of opinion, the age of reckoning, tantrums, back chat, your perfect little toddler has grown little tiny horns. No you can’t see them, but they. are. there.

So here we are, again, for the third time and my youngest isn’t even three yet for another month and a half. But she will waste no time giving me a glimpse of what’s to come and yesterday she did just that. Yes yesterday we sat there enduring true Oscar style performances of throwing one’s self on the floor with the look of pure pain and suffering so bad you almost wondered if it was real. Her only give away was the almost incoherent babblings about…what? Say that again? Your boyfriend left you? That can’t be right….Your shoes don’t match your outfit? No..what? Ah, your brother just took your toy. Yeah, that makes far more sense. The twist to our little plot in all this was that she actually gave him said toy to play with, then came to me flopped face down in the hallway whining that in fact, he stole it by gun point from her innocent hands. She’d been robbed, she wasn’t sure if he was wearing a mask or not, it was so quick she didn’t have time to think. There was no money to throw at the criminal in question, just a toy, her only prized possession and she threw it and ran off. So now here she is, coming to the authorities to report the crime, an innocent victim in the face of the Big Bad Brother and I am supposed to punish him to the maximum sentence. Which I would of course, if I hadn’t heard the whole conversation between them of

”Willow, do you mind if Brother has a look at your toy? Can I see?”
”Ok! Sure!”

Clearly, you can see she was robbed and all the evidence is plainly clear that I should put him away for life. However the Big Bad Brother promptly gave back her toy (after many many tears) once he realised that in fact, that was the entire reason she was crying and whining to me in the first place. He honestly had no idea that this tantrum had anything to do with him having her toy and quickly made the effort to make his little sister feel better. And you know what? The minute that toy was handed back to her the tears turned off like a little switch… the nerve! The true criminal exposed, the nearly three year old full time Hustler. She’s good too, oooh is she good.

Now I sit and question how many times she’s come to me like this when I haven’t heard the entire conversation and how often that poor brother of hers has been punished needlessly. How the poor soul has sworn to innocence when all the evidence has been carefully planted in order to convict him of his crimes. Damn, we’ve all been hustled. He’s not exactly totally innocent himself, which is what makes her game so much more convincing. He’s the only boy between his big and little sister, I mean the poor kid didn’t have a chance in hell to start with. He has to assert himself sometimes just to keep some kind of dignity and away from being bullied by two girls. How humiliating must that be for an eight year old? Even recently he came to me asking if I could please have another boy so we could even the stakes a bit. Geez, he’s got it bad. It seems his little sister has noticed his disadvantage and is now using it as his weakness.

I have a feeling that three is going to be exceptionally dramatic with this little one. She’s smart, very clever and so terribly cute. Not that her siblings weren’t but she is adored by them. That fuels her, she feeds off it, lives for it and uses it against them in ways those poor suckers are totally unaware of. They’d give her their last chocolate.

We’re screwed.

*Note: credit for the picture goes to Sven Kallinich http://www.i-4-detail.com

4 Responses to “And the Oscar goes to….”

  1. One Sassy Girl says:

    Ha ha, I'm not a mother and I think I just postponed it a while more! I love the ending – so simple, so direct – "we're screwed".
    Stopped over from SITS, Good luck!

  2. Mesina says:

    Hey there Sassy Girl! haha, awww I hope I didn't postpone kids for you too long! Glad you enjoyed the post and thanks a million for the feedback. It's always nice to hear others thoughts. I'm off to see your site this morning, so watch for some feedback there! Thanks for stopping by ?

  3. Mesina says:

    My Dearest friend Jesse wanted to post this on the blog in response to this post, but alas the word verification isn't playing nice with her. So I've taken her quote direct from Facebook and added it here….no I'm not making comments up! Its really her!:

    ''lol! I was the same way, feeling superior and chuckling over how easy two was compared to the dire warnings and then getting ambushed and defeated by the threes.'' – Jesse

    Knowing others have been there and done that too makes me feel a whole lot better! ?

  4. I used to be very pleased to seek out this internet-site.I needed to thanks to your time for this wonderful read!! I undoubtedly having fun with each little little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.

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